Five-tonner stunner!
Published: 15th November 2007
Author: Gordon Crockard
Gordy’s back on the track but his aging CR500’s a bit of a bone-shaker
Tonight is Halloween and I’d much rather be out in the dark letting off monster rockets but instead I’m in my wee cosy office letting off monster farts due to the high intake of spinach and broccoli earlier for my tea. As an observant man once said, ‘you can’t hold what you haven’t got in your hand’! Well that’s my justification for the rude aroma anyhow.
The rest of me is a bit of a hygiene disaster I’m only just noticing now too as I’ve not showered yet after being out in the muck all day with a bunch of young hopeful MX stars at one of the Red Bull junior assist programmes. It was down at Tandragee MX Park and the ground was wet from yesterday’s rain but by the afternoon the conditions were perfecto. I’m back there again tomorrow for more schooling so I’ll maybe not bother washing as I’m only going to get rotten again. Only joking! My mum would be mortified if she thought I was going to do that. Saying that, Laurence Spence once told me that only dirty people need to wash. Yeah, nice!
Now that I’m a bit older than I used to be (note – as if there’s any other way human aging goes) I’m having to be clean, tidy and presentable on more serious occasions each year. Like the sad tale of many of my friends, another one has gone and fell victim to marriage. Yes, young Lawrence Hugh Scott has crashed and burned and I among other clean, showered and broccoli fart free friends were in attendance on his wedding day to see Great Scott tie the knot. More importantly we were all there to witness the best man’s speech when a tape was played of Scottie singing solo during his days in the choir. It was, as Visa would say, priceless… Seriously, congratulations Scottie.
Speaking of prices, I’ve been doing my best to avoid hagglers beating me down on price as I’m having a clear-out bonanza of cars, campers, trials bikes, soap, deodorant, broccoli, wedding cake, choir singing lessons etc etc. I hate the whole nonsense of negotiating prices. ‘How much is it?’ ‘Okay, what would you take for it?’ I mean, come on! The answer to both those questions should be the same should it not? Maybe it’s just an Irish thing after years of our ancestors dealing in horses and sacks of potatoes. But I got my cars sold and now just the camper to go.
My last trip in the camper will be this weekend when I hop on the P&O ferry across to Bonnie Scotland and drive her down to Sheffield for the Future West supercross. I’ll be on my PAR Homes 450 Honda and up against some handy competition from what I see in the proposed line-up. I was third last year and would obviously love to repeat or better that result. I’ve been out of racing recovering from my shoulder and head injury for three months now so I’m eager to see the startgate again.
Last week I tested my skills of old by taking part in an Irish championship MX on a 1996 CR500 steel framed two-stroke Honda. I wanted a bit of craic and also to start riding again as I have some supercross events to do this month. All was going good and I holeshot the first moto and led the race. It was a 25-minute plus two laps moto and with three laps to go my ding-ding-a-ring-ting-ting-dinger let me down. She was bottoming out too often and that broke the subframe allowing the seat to fall off. So I finished second on the pegs and was thankful for the track time.
Moto two started with a broken subframe as my tool box seemed to be missing a welder and this time all the wobbling about due to the break made the brackets break on my exhaust. So a huge hole formed in the front pipe and I finished the race again in second. My friend and sponsor Gavin Boyd was helping spin the spanners all day and anyone looking would see him working on my bike and assume he’s my mechanic. So his reputation as a mechanic to any onlookers isn’t exactly a good one as my bike fell apart in both races. Sorry pal, you get the blame!
Before returning to bikes I naturally had to go through an adrenalin rush rehabilitation programme to get my system back in touch with regular GC lifestyle. I hooked up with the trials men and joined them for winter training on the mountain bikes one Monday night. Being winter, the nights are pitch black so lights are essential for cross-country trails. But not in my case as I figured I’d be good without lights just by following them. So the adrenalin certainly flowed and I probably rode through endless piles of dog crap without even noticing.
Next was some water activity in Justin Reid’s RIB (rigid inflatable boat). Now I learnt years ago never, ever to get in or on anything that has an engine and a Justin Reid but like I said I was on a buzz-seeking rehab course so if danger and thrills were involved then Reid was the answer! We went over to Port Patrick in Scotland and after-dinner activities carried on a bit past dark so our return journey was pretty memorable.
No sidecar race or anything daft for me at Weston this year but I did phone Knighter on the Saturday night to wish him luck. I was surprised to find out he wasn’t doing it in a form of self-preservation for his USA GNCC championship mission the following weekend. Quite right too I reckon and he did go on to win the series. Fair play big man – awesome job!
This may come a bit too close to the mark for some people but the England rugby team should consider selecting Knighter for their squad in the next world cup. He weighs in at over 16 stone, has size 13 feet and clearly is a tight lad if he can win three-hour races in super-hot weather in America. On the night of the world cup final I was out in a very atmospheric bar glued to the screens just like everyone else. I rang and joked with Paul Cooper whether he was supporting the green team or the white team. Karl Prestwood got the same stick too, just for the banter. My old spanner supremo Nick Moores was in no mood for fun or Mickey taking as he loves rugby and is very passionate about the England team. Hard luck but at least you beat the Paddys!